To booze or not to booze: a reflective birthday essay.

This month I will turn 37. 
Age does not bother me, it never has.
36 has felt like 26.
26 always felt like 16.
And at 16, I still acted like I was 6.

It is a number. I know it some people get super weirded out by aging, but not I.

But, I hate birthdays. Well, I like your birthday just fine. I will come to your party, with a gift, and sing. I will plan parties for my boys, with themes and light sabers and cake.

My own party? Hard pass. I just don't get it.  Maybe it is because my birthday is December 25th, but, my family and my husband have always made sure I am not overshadowed by the holidays.


My birthday is this month. 
And we reflect on the year.
And as a teacher, I collect my data. 
Did I obtain a years worth of growth in 12 months?
Can I show gains?
Where are my deficits.
Am I highly qualified?

One thing I am noticing as I get older is how my regular routine effects my body differently, specifically, booze.

I drink. I enjoy a cold beer and a nice red.
Never been a liquor girl though.
I've posted before here and in my facebook group that I have noticed by boozy intake going up recently.

 The craving has been fierce. 
And I blame all the things: stress, work, business, social gatherings, etc. 
I did notice, however, that when I cut melatonin out of my sleep routine, that my craving for my daily glass (or glasses) of vino dropped dramatically. 

So I went a week without. And that's a long time for me.
This weekend, I drank.
Beer Friday night.
Beer Saturday night.
Wine Sunday night.

And. It wasn't good. 

As I age, downers really got me, well, down.

Depressants are having a wild effect on me, bringing me down down down. And staying with me. 
Like, now, after a nights sleep and a days work, I still feel, down. 

Is it age? 
Is it reflection?
Is it growth?
Is it just me?? (Please please say its not just me.)

I just am noticing that I don't like this vibe. 

So, the bottle and I might be breaking up for a hot minute.
I will replace my nightly vino with decaf Santa's white Christmas- cause its the BEST damn coffee in the world, or some thieves tea. 
Just don't judge me if its out of a wine glass. 

Cause this almost 37 year old ain't got time to feel anything less than awesome. 

lots of love, oil,  and loud music,